Goodbye and Ambien

I'm on ambien, ready to kick in any minute, so this will have to be short.

Basically, I decided to move on with my life. AC will always be there, plotting, but ya know what? Who gives a crap? The main thing was to cut the lines..... which I did by simply not talking about myself, but then that didn't work, and then I tried just talking less and that didn't work and then I didn't post any serious stuff whih didn't work and then I stopped all contact with Vange and that didn't work and then it hit me..... that I no longer cared cause they'll never end cause frankly, I'm the most interesting thing for them to discuss anyways. But......

The part I had never planned on did happen. Final farewell to Sam. I love her.... I'll miss her.... I'll remember.... but there are some things that simply must get done and life is at a standstill until you do it.

I am eternally greatful for those who helped me through this.

Up up and away

It's 5 am. Nope, never went to bed. Thought about it. Just wasn't tired. Can't see straight, but I'm not tired. Got a migraine..... what is it...... 4? 6 days running? I don't really know anymore. Sunday night..... dreamt all night about my parents getting divorced. Monday night..... dreamt all night about my family leaving me. No. That's not why I'm awake. I'm just awake. Sometimes I get tired of sleeping. "Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think...."
My jaw kinda clenchs on it's own. F..... forgot my meds..... let's see..... which lucky drink will it be from..... only.... heh...... 6 hours late.
But like..... I won't even notice and all of a sudden my jaw hurts. Started last night actually.
Tomorrow I'll take ambien again. About time I get some sleep. Maybe I ought to take some xanax..... haven't had that for like.... week and a half I think. It's my dad's day off..... today..... suck.

I'm tired..... but not physically..... more emotionally.... like, I can feel it in my eyes.... but that could be the migraine. Can't really distinguish each...... I'm just gonna trail off there. That's enough.